Helicopter Parents

I read an article in the Star newspaper (the Education supplement) over last weekend which highlighted a term which was alien to me - none other than the title of this post. I don't know about you, this was my first time encountering such a term! Apparently this term has been used widely by the media and now I wonder where have I been?

Let me share with you wikipedia's definition of "Helicopter Parent":-

"A helicopter parent is a term for a person who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions. They rush to prevent any harm from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach whether their children need them or not."

There has been no research done as to the origin of this term but the existence of it dates back to 1991 where schoolteachers in America used it in a derogatory form labelling overbearing parents!

This reminds me of my daughter's first few years of school......six years back. I used to see her class teachers almost every other day for her progress; volunteering for school trips (even though the school didn't need any..BUT hey....she's my child and when I saw teacher-to-student ratio was much to be desired [in my standard that is..] I had to stand up for my rights); started a recycling programme for the school; founding and moderating a yahoo group for parents of students in my daughter's class; putting up and maintaining a website linked to the yahoo group; and a lot other things which I won't say them here. But the lackadaisical attitude of some teachers of a supposedly elite-all-girls school, which I transferred my daughter to for a year, smack in the middle of Kuala Lumpur put me off really to participate in any of the class or school projects or activities as I was dismissed, in a diplomatic way nonetheless, with my suggestions to improve certain things which I thought needed immediate atention. The following year, I pulled out my daughter and admitted her to another school which have fantastic teachers who work extra hours beyond school time ensuring that the kids get all the attention which they need! I'm glad we made that decision!

When I think about it now, after coming across the term subject of this entry, ...was I overbearing? I think not as the teachers could not cope with their workload and I was merely helping!

Anyway... a further extension to the term is "BlackHawks" - a term created for parents, to quote, "who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior such as writing their children's college admission essays".

To a certain extent, Helicopter Parenting is great if you as a parent know the boundary. To me, as long as you are not suffocating your child and acting in your child's best interest your action is justified! It really boils down to your intention and the situation which warrants the necessary action!

I like what my friend's take about this " What do they (the child) know? They are not in a postion to think for themselves so you should take charge!" Absolutely right there! I suppose it depends on the age of the child really. You really need to learn to let go eventually and make your child responsible for their own action! A caveat to this - provided that you have equipped them with all the necessary knowledge!

Read these articles here, here (read the last part of this article! LOL) and here as a sampling of the pros and cons of being "Helicopter Parents"!