By the time this entry is posted (thanks to auto/scheduled/timed-posting which blogspot introduced), wifey and I are on our way to a much deserved 3-day-hideaway-break and staying in one of the heavenly abodes above....And it's a surprise for wifey (of course I have about 3 other surprises up my sleeves lined up for wifey which will be unfolded one by one by the day)! Well the weekend away is not a surprise; the destination is! I really wanted to surprise her in toto but to save myself being surprised with shock-horror, I decided dead against it! (wifey's a workaholic you see....Even on days which she is not well and gets medical leave, off she'd go clocking-in! This time she even thought of bringing her laptop along - well let's just put it in the mildest way; I forbade her. I don't mind a few of this breed in my office as my support staff, though!).
We were married on 21st November 1993 (btw, this hideaway had to be brought forward from the actual date due to an unavoidable circumstance) - that was within 3 months after we got engaged! Had it not been for my mum, on the fated day, who saw us flipping through a bridal magazine with wifey admiring some solitaires which were beyond my means, I can safely say that there wouldn't be any Khadijah, Yusof, Kauthar, Ibraheem, Umar & Hajar nor this special weekend! She put her foot down and said come let's go to the goldsmith and get wifey the engagement ring! That was how the decision was made. It's not that I was not sure about wifey....but it was my obsession with my personal goals in life which was the hindrance! I knew she was the one for me to spend the rest of my life with because I was constantly thinking about her whenever we were apart; her faith in God, her company, her wits, her intelligence, her beauty etc (like what they say nowadays, a complete package....What to do.....personal goals over happiness in life!
I was later told by wifey, after the wedding, that she was giving me time until that very year (in her heart and mind; obviously she could not tell me this as we were never an item!)...She'd, otherwise, have moved on! It was shocking for me but I knew that she would not and did not expect her to wait for me till the cows come home.....! Till this day, I thank God for guiding my mum to push her way through!
You know in life you tread on very thin lines without realising it? A thin line indeed I was walking on at that very instant!
Truth of the matter was, wifey and I had been friends for what seemed to be forever....And our relationship was entirely and truly platonic. We had never gone for a proper date,...not even once, before we got married. I would say they were just outings like with other friends. I was so obsessed with my goals in life that falling in love was never an option. My goal was to make money and settle down with a wife and children in my late 30s. Well "Man proposes, God disposes" !
Dear Yayan if you are reading this, my feeling for you is aptly captured in this song - Happy Anniversary in advance!
Tak kusangka kau hadir di hidupku,
Kau penuhi semua impian hidupku,
Sungguh Tuhan ku bersyukur padaMu
Kau izin kan aku untuk mencintainya
Yang pernah kumiliki
Jangan kau pergi dariku
Namun bila harus berpisah
Kuingin kau tahu
Kaulah yang terbaik
So to any of you out there in the same dilemma, I would say, seek blessings from God and follow your heart!!! Bollocks with personal goals (LOL!)